Three Grimms Walked into a Bar
by sudoku
Summary: Three Grimms walked into a bar…and the patrons parted like the Red Sea. Some even fled. That was not the joke. I stopped at walked into a bar and made some observations. Aka the time when Hank, Wu, and Monroe spent some quality time together in a bar when Nick, Kelly, and Trubel walked in.


Thanks to the awesome D Squirrel for betaing this story for me. She made this sound much better than it originally was. Thanks to Little Bounce to tell me about Kehrseite slichkennen as I forgot.

**Warning:** Some languages and terrible jokes. Spoiler up to episode 4.11.

* * *

"Do you feel the chill in the air?" Monroe shivered slightly.

Hank turned his head toward the door. "No, it was just Nick, his mom and Trubel walked in."

"Exactly!" Monroe nodded meaningfully.

"I can see the joke here. Three Grimms walked into a bar… and the patrons parted like the Red Sea. Some even fled. That was _not_ the joke. I stopped at_ walked into a bar_ and made some observations. I really need to work on this joke," Wu mused while nursing his third drink. "I presume those are wesen then."

"Do you know it's rude to ask whether a person is a wesen straight into their faces?" Monroe asked after tightening his knitted jumper.

Wu smiled. "No, I didn't ask it straight in front of their face. I did it behind their back. I usually ask Nick anyway."

Hank nodded. "That's true. I think he did it on purpose on every single perp we encountered. Not only the perps, but also our colleagues and practically everyone he meets when Nick is in the vicinity. I did the same when I first became Kehrseite slichkennen but not too Wu's extent. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Wu did it on purpose to exact revenge on us for not telling him sooner."

Wu looked deeply engrossed with his glass and said, "I don't know what you are talking about. I'm naturally curious. Who knows that my knowledge about the world could expand overnight? To be a good policeman, I need to take this Kersait slicken thing seriously."

"Kehrseite slichkennen," Monroe corrected.

"That's what I said." Wu winked at Monroe.

Monroe lifted both hands in the mock gesture of surrender. "Fine, you're as bad as Nick used to be in pronunciation. He's worked on that. You'd eventually."

"Cheers to that!" Hank drank up his beer.

"So how do you differentiate these three Grimms? Would it be too much for the wesen to have three Grimms in Portland?" Wu stared at Nick, his mom, and Trubel.

Monroe elbowed him in the ribs. "Could you be more obvious? You might as well invite them over here."

"Maybe I will." Wu was about to raise his hand but Monroe stopped him.

"It really is a bad idea. If possible, I'd have at least twenty yards distance between the scary Grimm and me."

"I presume you meant Nick's mom as the scary Grimm, and not Trubel. I can't believe you're scared of her."

"Have you seen her in a fight? Her behaviors toward wesen also leave nothing to be desired."

"Well, I'm very new to this world so I don't know. What do you think, Hank?"

Hank answered with a big smile. "I think Mrs. Burkhardt is a very charming and capable lady."

Monroe rolled his eyes. "Of course, you would say that since you're not a wesen."

"What kind of Grimms are Nick and Trubel then?" Wu asked.

"According to Bud..."

"Was that the friendly guy who speaks a lot and woges into something cute?"

"Yes, that's him. I'm not sure whether he would approve of being called cute. He said that the wesen residents call Nick: police Grimm, our resident Grimm, friendly Grimm, cute Grimm. I think that might be some teenager wesen who said that one. They also call him Bud's friend The Grimm, I think Bud was the one spreading that one around."

Hank chuckled. "I can't believe Nick has so many nicknames. I can't wait to tell him."

"It's good that I only mention the good ones then. There are some less savory titles but perhaps it's best for Nick not to hear those."

Speaking of the resident Grimm, in the nick of time, Nick materialized at their table. "What shouldn't I hear?" The three patrons jumped at his voice.

"Geez, Nick. A bit of warning please. It's never a good idea to scare a Blutbad."

"But I'm not the scary Grimm, just the friendly, cute, resident Grimm who is also Bud's best friend."

Three sets of jaws dropped.

"Damn you and your super Grimm hearing! I forgot about that. And also how you could be so stealthy sometime," Monroe reproached him.

"Just out of curiosity, what kind of Grimm Trubel is then?" Nick asked.

"The wesen community just called her the scary baby Grimm. She did threaten some of the wesen for yoursake after all."

"So am I the only one not scary?"

"Well, for them, you _are_ still scary. It's just you don't have the scary title. Although they're truly misinformed as you have dispatched a lot of wesen in the past years." Wu looked on curiously. Monroe quickly added, "All according to the law of course, unless they try to kill."

Wu said, "Don't worry about me. If I meet Aswang in the dark alley, I'd prefer to kill it rather than arrest it. Actually not only in dark alleys." He shuddered.

"We need to be thankful there aren't too many Aswangs around then," Nick said.

"Thank Grimm for that!" Wu answered.

"Did you just equal Grimm to God? That's awesome." Monroe beamed. Hank clapped. Nick blushed.

"Thank you." Wu made a mock bow. He noticed that Nick recovered quickly, which might be due to his Grimmness.

"Well, I need to return to my table although I prefer to have lovely chat here rather than doing Grimm business."

"What business would that be? Should we know?" Wu asked.

"Nah, it's just boring, exchanging intels and knowledge, Grimm related and also about the Royals and the Verrat. I must return to my table now before they come to join you here."

"Great idea," Monroe quickly replied.

Nick left. When he reached his table, he waved at them. To Monroe's horror, Kelly and Trubel also waved at them. They waved back.

"You guys need to tell me about these Royals and Verrat thing later," Wu said.

"Sure, but we have fun tonight," Hank quickly replied.

After shaking off Kelly's stare, Monroe said, "Wu, to answer your question, three Grimms are indeed two too many to Portland. I think most wesen would agree."

"Well, if you survive tonight, you could boast that you were in the vicinity of three Grimms and lived to tell the tales."

That picked Monroe's mood up. "Cheers!" He raised his glass, Hank and Wu clanged their glasses to his. "To our resident Grimms!"

* * *

Please tell me what you think. After writing this, I really want to have this Monroe, Hank and Wu's bonding scene to happen on the show. As for Kelly's waving at them, I'd like to think she knew her reputation and she'd like to tease the gang as part of her own joke.


End file.
